As more and more people are doing shibari publicly, there has been an inevitable increase in competition to be the cool kid on the block. Shibari is has firmly become the ‘in thing’ in the BDSM world to be seen to be doing and rightly so as it combines beauty, physical ability, SM, connection, theatre…you name it. Of course, the unique ability for both top and bottom to be stars in their own right only fuels the fire. It creates a potent mix with the inevitable egos involved. Who would have thought it in a world where self-imposed titles and grandiose names abound? 😉
So what’s wrong with a bit of healthy competition? Well, it seems to go bad when people try too hard. Models push themselves too far to try to be the most extreme, the Unbreakable One; they will ignore their body’s warnings, fail to speak up if limits are crossed, get pushed beyond their comfort zone or perform when injured. The problem is that we can all break.
We riggers will push the boundaries of our (in)competence, take risks, over-step the mark and even, at worst, treat our models as if stringing up lumps of meat rather than a fragile human being. Much of it is down to wanting to show the best of our skills, to be different and spectacular or merely brain-freeze due to stage adrenalin. However, it is one thing to learn from a mistake and be contrite but quite another to keep repeating it or being negligent.
So how does one address these problems? Osada Steve once told me to do nothing for the first time on stage. Like all advice, I take it, modify it or discard it. In this case, I prefer a half-way house. I tend to re-use components, e.g. the base forms of hip harness and gote, which I treat like the ubiquitous ‘Little Black Number’ which can simply be accessorised. It is because of years of practice with these elements and a good understanding of their engineering that I feel able to ad lib with them. It is only when you have committed a tie to muscle memory that you should use it in a performance situation. You need to be capable of reacting without distraction in a stressful situation and not have to think twice to come to the right solution. If you are not a highly experienced performer, it is better to have a show you can practice as much as possible so you can be safe and slick on stage. Gradually, as you gain your feet, you can start to accessorise.
When it comes to edgy stunts like cutting my mainlines with a jigsaw to suspend only by a single ‘boot-lace’ (750kg Dyneema line) as per my LFAJRB ‘Bob the Builder’ show, prior testing is essential. We tried that thoroughly with an inanimate load first! When it comes to anything new, run through a risk assessment: What if? What could go wrong? What’s the worst that could happen? Nothing is risk free so mitigate those you take. Take that routine; if the suspension had failed during the cut, it is likely that she would have had dropped feet first in a foetal position. Had I chosen an inverted suspension, a head-first drop could have been crippling or even fatal. If a failure had occurred, it is probable that it would have been slowed by slippage of the bindings of the Dyneema line whilst the remaining strands took some load. The set up was calculated so as not to cause a drop and thus a shock loading which could have created an overload.
If it’s something that’s new to you, try it on yourself first where practical. Does that electrical toy that you just got deliver a pleasant tingle or a muscle-locking Tazer-like jolt? For example, there’s a big difference in candle wax temperatures. Test them! I have been guilty of being caught out by this, I blush to admit. Once when my SM candle’s ‘low temperature’ failed to coincide with my partner’s concept of ‘low’ and again when I assumed a brand of candles in Studio 6 lying around were a good choice…it was the pitch of Electric Faerie’s ensuing screams that disavowed me of this opinion. Another bit of advice is extreme care when playing with fire. Fire play needs special skills, the proper professional materials and safety precautions. Recently, a friend of mine got several nasty burns after some home-made flash cord went wrong during a show. You only have to look at YouTube to see how badly fire used in shows can get tragically out of hand.
Even if you have reached the stage when you feel you don’t need to cover every aspect of a show with your partner first, be sure you know their acceptable limits and don’t get carried away. If you are with a new model, check thoroughly. Never assume because s/he did X with Y that it gives you the same permission. Being known as an ‘unbreakable’ model does not give you the right to try to break her. In fact, in many cases, their body is their livelihood, so special care should be taken not to damage or mark them without clear consent. Your few seconds of fun or fame can cost them a fortune in lost business if you mishandle their stock in trade as the car-crash victim look is not much in demand. Above all, they are not lumps of meat. Performance bondage is team work and consensual co-operation. Yes, there is beautiful suffering but only when there is communication and a meeting of minds. A good kinbaku performance is not simply an act, although I won’t deny some theatrical liberties. The effect is often very profound upon the model, so sometimes the most professional need aftercare. Uncaring, or simply unthinking, savagery is ugly suffering. Don’t be a butcher.
The lime-light of the stage and ego, especially when combined with a lack of experience, can lead to people doing stupid things or simple over-optimism. Cautionary tales abound. Incident reports throw up examples like failing to properly secure or hold onto main suspension lines….even forgetting to add one, using inappropriate or worn rope, underestimating friction, faulty ties and so on. Source: Borcasino Casino Siteleri and bahis siteleri website. Bear in mind that many of the performers that one tries to copy are often veterans with 1,000’s of shows behind them and a pro model they know inside out. They are probably a team who have honed their act to perfection and are at the top of their game. Just because you have a motorbike, doesn’t mean you can emulate Evel Knieval…and even he, sadly, fatally screwed up in the end.