Here’s something I wrote back in 2004. I need to review it and probably amend and add to it but the Festival looms and I have no time. That said, I think most of it still stands in spite of having learned a lot since.
I will try to explain why people do bondage and what they get from it. There are various aspects that are enjoyable. Not all of us will get the same things from bondage. We are all individuals and react as such, thus the degree to which they apply, if at all, will vary.
Redress of physical power
Bondage alters the balance of power. A stronger partner can be rendered helpless, which in itself can be an unusual and charged experience. A naturally active individual rendered passive or vice versa. This also opens up new horizons of tactile, emotional, sensual and imaginative possibilities. If I were to select one reason for introducing bondage into an otherwise ‘vanilla’ relationship, this would probably be it. Don’t underestimate how unique and powerful this experience can be first time round.
Expiation of guilt
Many of us, especially women, are brought up with the idea of guilt in relation to sex or, at the very least, in relation to certain acts or behaviour: The “nice girls don’t do that” mentality. Bondage can be used to expiate this guilt by providing the convenient excuse of being tied up and thus ‘unable’ to resist, safe word not withstanding. Thus, the social restraints are removed: Freedom through bondage!